Quotes …. "naughty"
“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”
― Mae West, Wit & Wisdom of Mae
West
“I like persons better than principles, and I like persons
with no principles better than anything else in the world.”
― Oscar Wilde
“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”
― Groucho Marx
“She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”
― Dorothy Parker
“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to
see me?”
― Mae West
“Of course, you’d warm up faster if you took your clothes
off.”
― Stephenie
Meyer, Eclipse
“Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give
it up.”
― Mae West
“I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that
eye patch, it barely covers my genitals.”
― Jarod
Kintz, I Want
“When women go wrong, men go right after them.”
― Mae West
“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright
to free his hands for masturbation.”
― Lily Tomlin
“I never loved another person the way I loved myself.”
― Mae West
“Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never
meet!”
― Groucho
Marx
“A man is only as old as the woman he feels.”
― Groucho
Marx
“good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere”
― Helen
Gurley Brown
“The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on
it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs.”
― Dylan Thomas,
Under Milk Wood
“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
A: You can't hear an enzyme.”
― Dorothy
Parker
“If my remote control doubled as a dildo, I'd never get
off my ass to change the channel.”
― Jarod
Kintz, This is
the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather,
who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush
Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush, and Orafoura are all in fact
me...
“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An
optimist is a man who hopes they are.”
― Chauncey
Mitchell Depew
“Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I’m
thinking? Hint: I’m staring directly at your vagina.
”
― Jarod
Kintz, The
Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.
“Who’d cum first, you or your clone? To find out, why
don’t you go fuck yourself?
”
― Jarod
Kintz, Seriously
delirious, but not at all serious
― Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible
“The cucumber is just about the healthiest sex toy ever.”
― Jarod
Kintz, $3.33
“When bananas blush, they turn brown, not red. And when
tomatoes blush, you’ve probably said something really naughty.
”
― Jarod
Kintz, 99 Cents
For Some Nonsense
“Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.
”
― Jarod
Kintz, This Book
Has No Title
“Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
― Woody Allen
“No matter how bad things get, just keep looking up. Just keep looking up her skirt. Or his kilt. ”
― Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious
“Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you
prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't
matter to me.”
― Katie
MacAlister, It's
All Greek to Me
“Blood rushed to the regions of my body that I associated
with naughtiness, and I was powerless to stop it.”
― Kat Lowe,
Dream Cat
“My favorite color on canvas is nudity.
”
― Jarod
Kintz
“The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his
penis. The list is three inches long.
”
― Jarod
Kintz, 99 Cents
For Some Nonsense
“I’ll never rest on my laurels. If I’ve got more than one
Laurel in my bed, rest is not how I plan on utilizing my mattress.
”
― Jarod
Kintz, A Zebra
is the Piano of the Animal Kingdom
“Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on
the condom.
”
― Dark
Jar Tin Zoo, Love
Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.
“I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my
pants.
”
― Jarod
Kintz, So many
chairs, and no time to sit
Courtesy Goodreads
